The River Runs in the Rut

 A river flows toward the ocean. 

The same river you stood at as a child, tossing flat rocks across the top of, skimming the surface and desperately trying to perfect the technique so you could pass on this seemingly useless skill to your younger siblings or friend from school... This river leads to a vast ocean. The water you dip your feet into on a hot summer day, is the same water that ships will traverse to bring goods to distant lands. 

All of life is dependent upon this water which flows through the rut it has carved out over time. It has given life to birds, animals, insects, and people and it has taken lives during times of rushing floods which swept through with the force strong enough to rip up massive oak trees from their roots and pull homes from their foundations. 

The river becomes the monster in the story of those who have lost homes, pets, and people within that river's inconsiderate and indiscriminate destructive power. 

Several miles down the path of that river, there are those who have never experienced loss or destruction from its power. They know the river as the backdrop of the life they enjoy. It is associated with all the good things in life, all the memories of decades with friends and family, and a source of serenity at the end of a work week. 

Is this the same water that decimated an entire community only 100 miles away? 

Is this the same water which leads to the ocean which creates the memories of millions of people who enjoy the beaches on their yearly vacation? Is this the same water that created a CAT 5 hurricane which wiped out entire generations of people in its path? Is this the water which allows warships to fire missiles and send airplanes packed with bombs to set fire to areas filled with people who you will never know the name of? 

This water touched the feet of a toddler on the banks of the Mississippi when taking her first few steps in front of the beaming joyful faces of her parents, and it became the water stained red with the blood of a family who were in the pathway of a missile fired at a proclaimed "threat," by proclaimed experts at recognizing them. 

Is the water evil? 

Is the water good? 

Is the water merely flowing through life being water? 

Is the water separate from living beings who utilize it? If so, how? Does the water not have other components that it carries with it? Is it not made up of mineral compounds? When we are swimming within that water, are we not made up of mineral compounds as well as water? Do the events of our lives flow through twists and turns of varying topography ultimately to become part of the ocean of souls once again? 

Have we not experienced the raging destructive events of certain times of our lives that were caused by overwhelming circumstances which "flooded" our capacity to manage our own balance without harming other living beings in the process to varying degrees?  

The current of the river shifts because nothing in nature is a straight line. Over time, if an obstacle is harder to wash away, the soft current of nothing more than water is powerful enough to reshape granite. Stagnant water creates the environment for harmful bacteria to flourish and contaminates all the life around it. There must be flow to sustain a healthy ecosystem which all living beings from insects to humans are dependent upon. 

Our soul's journey is the river. 

Its origin point is also its end- which is yet another beginning. 

The soul must flow through the narrow passages over rocks, under busy bridges in metropolitan areas, endure the occasional toxic sludge that is dumped within in by others, and at times of massive change and overwhelming conditions, the pressure valve must be released to disperse all it all and at times has destroyed much in its path to expand. It is in this churning of what was and now cannot be sorted through that stagnation is a real possibility. All of the destroyed stuff in the path is churned up within us. We can't flow and become that healthy beautiful river again without help from others. It will take many to sort out what was destroyed and what may still be of value within the silt and mangled debris. Occasionally there is a miraculous life that somehow is found clinging to the tallest piece of debris that is sticking out of that chewed up mess of things. There is value in the aftermath of difficult times in our life. There is a tremendous healing that takes place when the boogered up mess is sorted through. Yet, it is not a task that can be accomplished without those who voluntarily decided to help you clean it up and make sense of it. 

The acceptance of this help is the beginning of the flowing river regaining its proper course again. 

There are many people who stop flowing toward the great Divine ocean. They fear the falling away of ego and personality. They do not want to be the drop that becomes the ocean and the ocean certainly can't be the drop! That's MY Drop! 

How many people have participated in the river of your soul flowing through their lives? How many have stepped within "your water" in passing. You are in them, they are in you, and all is within the great ocean of soul.  

Each of us has an individual essence which is FAR BIGGER than personality or ego. The essence of our individual soul is unique unto us but only because each of us have infinite ways of flowing through life in our soul's journey back to the Source. 

There is no separation of the overall drops of water in the sea of souls. We are expressions of God, each flowing through this river of life. 

The river can be destructive, peaceful, healing, or can reroute entire sections of terrain, eroding away at foundations that are made of stone. We are the same in our abilities to build, offer respite, or destroy what was standing. The most dangerous water is the water which is stagnant. 

We have one guarantee in our lives and that is that life is in its very essence, always changing. If it isn't, it is not serving our ecosystem or doing anyone any good. 

To keep the flow moving, care must be implemented to make sure there are no blockages preventing that flow. 

Ask yourself what is blocking the flow of your life. Maybe it is a false belief that is no longer serving the greater good of those around you. Maybe it is an old memory that is still painful to the mental touch of thought. Whatever it may be, if it is blocking the flow of life, it must be removed before it becomes a flash flood. 

Sometimes that block is so old that you can't fathom that it is having an effect in your current state of affairs. 

I will give you a personal example of this: 

I had a dream the other night that kind of shook me. I was transported back in time to the age of around 11 years old. I was standing outside of the gymnasium of this school I attended which was far from a safe place of learning or growth. This school was part of a nightmare that I lived each and every day before I finally convinced my parents that I could not continue going there. The gymnasium was one of the places where I suffered the most amount of abuse, especially the locker room. In the dream, I was the age I am now mentally, but it was like I was transported back to 1989 and had to 'retrieve something I had left there' and convince the people at the door to let me in because, "I had gifts I had left there a long time ago.'  The gate keepers were reluctant to let me inside. I had to use my ability of charm and persuasion to convince them to let me inside. Once inside, I headed to the locker room area. I saw these packages decorated in nice wrapping paper complete with bows and ribbon locked within a cage similar to the kind of cages you put basketballs, volleyballs, inside of after the kids were done with PE class. 

I went into this dark storage area inside of the locker room and got my gifts back. I knew the authorities were on their way to question me, so I had to be quick about it. 

The "gifts" were a part of me that I left there. They were intrinsic elements of my abilities, personality, and soul. I had left them there because that was the area and time where I was shamed the most and realized that I could not fully express or utilize those gifts because they made me target and I already was one. 

I asked the Guide in my dream, "did I leave these here because this is where I was the most damaged?" Yes. 

I had to reclaim a part of myself in this dream and did so with the utmost care and consideration. Did I still need these gifts? Yes, they are YOURS.  

After waking from this dream, I felt a sense of relief I haven't felt in decades. I knew I had work to do in order to fully integrate what I had just found out and what I had thought I no longer needed because I had made it this long without these metaphorical "gifts" so why not keep trudging onward? No. I had to reclaim them for right now, this time that I am living in now would require the re-integration of these lost treasures. 

What those gifts are is mine and mine only to know and consider, but I ask you... 

What gifts did you have to leave behind to survive? What have you made do with in your life without pieces that are rightfully yours to have? This is a thought experiment that will take time and inner meditation, but it is worth doing. 

A lot of us gave up something in young life to survive the expectations of what it means to be accepted by our peers. It may not be one event, it could be several, but at some point every single one of us had a choice to let go of or embrace some aspect of ourselves that was not loved by our immediate surroundings. What so-called benign comment from someone we loved, injured us on a deep level? What facets of our being did we put on ice so that we didn't cause waves in our peer group or among family members?  Whatever that may be, find it! Find it and see if it still holds any value to you now.  It may be the thing you've been missing or it may be the block that you thought you needed to remove but realize that it wasn't necessary to block in the first place!

Regardless of outcome, the flow is the important part. Find what it is that has kept your river from flowing in the direction you want to go and carefully, with love, remove it or allow it to flow along with you. 

Once you do this, you will be able to navigate future twists and turns in the flow of your Divine essence. 

Our world likes to artificially dam up naturally flowing change. We do it regularly in all aspects of culture. We don't like to change the course of the river unless we perceive we are the ones controlling it. It goes against natural law and therefore you have effects that aren't so great later on down the line.  Life is a river and it runs in the ruts. You can stay on the banks and watch it go by or you can trust that it will take you where you need to go. It doesn't have to be a roaring rapids all the time, but if you trust the flow, you won't get slammed against the rocks or mixed up in the churn at the bottom. Our need to control everything is why we get slammed up against the rocks and plummeted into the churn gasping for air.  Allow the essence of your river's flow to take you to places you didn't think you could get too. You won't be sorry, and you will find, eventually, that we are all going to the same place.... the open ocean of Source which is where we all began the journey together. 

Thanks for reading. 

 

Between The Grit

 There are Tibetan monks who spend years making these sand paintings that are so intricate that each grain of sand is meticulously dyed and put in one by one. They work on this huge piece of art for 10 hours a day, stopping only to eat a bowl of rice and commune with fellow monks during mealtime. They construct this masterpiece in meditation and within the totality of fully integrated single-mindedness and awareness of- not only the grain of sand- each second, each movement, every thought.  

This sounds excruciating to anyone who can't sit still for more than thirty minutes. 

These monks are chosen among the entire monastery by the adepts who meditate for lengthy periods of time to choose the perfect monks to take part in this sacred tradition. They don't choose the people who are naturally gifted artists, they don't choose the most disciplined monks, they are guided to choose the monks who-unbeknownst to the monk chosen-are in the greatest need of letting go of attachments. 

You may be thinking, "wouldn't a monk know if he had an issue with that?" No. The monks chosen often do not think they have any real issue with attachment. It is the wise old sage that can see past the conscious mind and read the heart of someone. This is why the wise adept meditates on this for as long as it takes to ensure they chose the perfect person. 

These paintings are the most intricately beautiful pieces of art you have ever seen in your life. You can hardly believe it is made entirely of grains of sand. These pieces of art are typically very large and they also contain ancient wisdom and symbols that are thousands of years old that are embedded with the hidden knowledge of their most deeply guarded teachings. To the average person, it is just a breathtakingly spectacular piece of artistry. To the studied eye, it transcends merely being art for art's sake, and is deeply profound and almost supernatural in its ability to convey wisdom and mystery teachings. 

After these pieces of art are completed, there is a celebration and people come from all over to view the painting. 

Here's the kicker. 

At the end of the celebration, the monks destroy the art. 

In the history of this tradition, none of these incredible pieces of art have been preserved. 

Think about this for a minute... You spend years painstakingly creating this thing and now it's destroyed as though it never existed in the first place. What exists from that experience? What was gained from that experience  that  transcends the physical result of the artwork? 

The memory exists. The ability to focus and the finely tuned attention to each moment has been cultivated within. The memory of the joy and awe this painting gave people who got to see the final result of all that hard work. Maybe the other monks who watched and marveled at the intense dedication to such a project also created something transcendent within them as well?  The experience of making it exists. The knowledge of how to make it also exists.  

The wise old adept who chose these monks for this sacred tradition, allows these monks to sit with these questions for as long as they feel necessary before they will be questioned. Nobody really knows what the correct answers are to the questions that the old sage will be asking. Nobody knows if they answered correctly or if they didn't. All they know is that some of these monks are tasked with starting one of these sand paintings all over again. Some are not. Nobody knows if this is a punishment or a reward and it is neither, or both. 

The sand painting tradition is sacred because it is a mirror of the beautiful tapestry created by each individual moment in a person's life only to leave the body and the body rots and decays and is no longer present in life. What remains? 

The same questions that are asked to the artists of these sand paintings are existential questions we ask about life itself. 

Some of these monks have to do the activity over again because they missed some key element of the exercise or they are tasked with repeating it because they serve as a mentor to new monks who are chosen for this sacred exercise. The monk never knows why they were chosen to repeat the ancient tradition of this sand painting thing, but they must repeat it regardless of the "why." The "why" is discovered in the process. 

My 2 cents: 

We live each day trying to live each day to see some result of our living each day. Repeat that a few times and you'll understand what I'm saying. Don't worry, I'll wait. 

The tapestry we are creating is just as painstakingly hard as that Tibetan sand painting. At any moment all of the material gain we have worked so hard to build can be destroyed in minutes. What remains? The material result of hard work isn't what matters. It is the full understanding of the process within you that took place as you built it. 

These are the questions you must meditate on while you still have a chance to understand without having to start the process all over again. 

Our Creator knows if we need to restart "the sand painting" again and we get very upset over this process of fulfillment, destruction, completion, devastation, and so on, so forth. It isn't the completion of that perfectly framed up life art. It is the attention to each individual grain of sand that forms the bigger picture. 

Live in the moments between the grains of sand and you'll know there isn't one that is placed there in vain. 

Know The Difference Between Being A Nice Person Or A Kind Person: It Is Deeper Than You Realize

 Definition of Nice: 

Pleasant, Agreeable, Satisfactory

Definition of Kindness: 

The quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate of others. 

*Oxford Dictionary was used to define these words above. 

I don't know about you, but I cringe when someone describes me as "nice." It's so thin like a watered down sodium free vegetable broth. Nobody wants to be broth. 

If you'll look carefully at these two definitions listed above what do you see? Here, I'll show my work for you... 

One is passive and one is active. 

So let us jump straight down the rabbit hole of deeper philosophical thought without a tether to the accepted or "nice" way of speaking of such things. 

Nice people are passive people who typically do not want to act on the behalf of others nor themselves. Nice people are consumed with resentment and have passive aggressive tendencies that they have cultivated in order to release the nagging feeling that they shouldn't have been put in the position of having to be "nice."  Since most people who are labeled "nice" are lacking an entire backbone, they will not under any circumstance step in as the hero of anyone's story. I've seen "nice" people actually pretend to not know what is going on around them just to retain the comfortable non-action they prefer. 

Do you ever see those crime shows and think, "come on, someone had to have noticed that Bill was behaving strangely? Come on! You mean he went to all these social and community functions and nobody thought something was off about that guy? Look at him! Clearly he's a freakin' creep!" 

Let me school you on why nobody suspected "Bill was a creep." They were nice people. Nice people do not want to be involved in any way no matter what the stakes are for not speaking up about something. They want life to continue as it is FOR THEM. They don't want any curve balls thrown into the mix and especially ones that they may see as having zilch to do with the happiness of their life. 

Their motto or mantra they repeat in their head to justify their lack of courage is, "it's none of my business." The Super Nice people who have religious leanings will use God as a mascot they can pin all their non-action onto. "Who am I to step into someone's life. It may be God's will that they are going through this." 

That is the most cowardice excuse there is, and in my humble opinion, it's the antithesis of what every story in all religions was trying to teach. It is especially ignorant to think that being "nice" is related to being Christlike. 

Do you think Jeshua Ben Joseph/Jesus who became the Christ, was "nice?" No. He was a revolutionary, a rebel, stood up for the poor, broke the rules, told the masses that they were also sons of God, and faced the ultimate trial to prove to generations far in the future the significance and difficult path of choosing to be "in the world, but not OF the world."  He did nothing out of being nice or satisfying the status quo. He came to break the chains of the repressive laws that had enslaved the minds of regular hard working people for eons. That isn't being "nice." It's being a wrecking ball so that society can rebuild with higher ideals that aren't rooted in the base level laws meant to repress 99% of the inhabitants of the Earth.  Of course there is the whole table throwing episode at the temple too. I could have referenced that but it's low hanging fruit and you already know that story anyway. 

One thing about the table tossing ass whoopin' Jesus is when he had enough, he had enough. How many "nice" people saw the beginnings of the temple being used as a low budget Hebrew casino and said nothing about it? Answer: All of them.  A repressed society is not likely to stand up straight with their shoulders back and demand a damn thing. They have come to believe that they are happy with "getting by" and just making sure they stay out of jail and provide for their family. 

"I don't want any trouble officer so no, I'm not pressing charges on that group of ramped up violent young people who destroyed my business with bricks. I'm sure they are in enough trouble as it is."  -Said the "nice guy." 

Meanwhile, the real message sent to the people who are not "nice" is "everyone is afraid of us and we can do whatever we want with zero repercussions." That is how the crime rate rises and also how and why nobody will call police in neighborhoods where gangs are running the show. Do you think anyone wants to live in a neighborhood run by thugs? No. They don't. They have rolled over and played nice so long that they forgot they have any power at all to change their environment. 

This "nice" mind virus is also infecting most businesses as well. I've personally witnessed it in hospitals, retail chains, corporations that are "too big to fail," banks, credit card companies, school districts, and even families.  If someone with narcissistic or sociopathic tendencies is in power, most of the people under them will be "nice people." 

The story of Ebeneezer Scrooge is a classic example of this. Bob Krachit was "so nice," that he was thanking the sociopath employer Scrooge for the tiny morsels he took home for his family. The "nice" Bob Krachit was allowing his son Tiny Tim to be malnourished to the point of near fatality just to keep the peace and not make any waves with his tyrannical boss. Krachit was a spineless piece of shit actually.  

There's no dignity in allowing anyone in any situation to walk on you and clean the shit off their shoes on your back. You are not getting extra special glowing halos in Heaven for being a spineless coward. All of the stories from all of mythology, from all of the ancient religious texts, from all historical documents dating back to the time of the Romans, none of these stories are retold and reinvented because of the "nice people" who rolled over and allowed evil to flourish. That is not what we are made up of. We are not meant to be corporate hotel wall art, just adding subtle pastels and abstract formless shapes to a beige backdrop.  All of those paintings end up at the thrift store marked as merely having worth due to the frame. 

Being "nice" is akin to elevator smooth jazz, corporate hotel wall art, bank waiting areas, and that store where your Grandma gets those taupe elastic pants from. 

PARADOX TIME: 

Being Nice is why we can't have nice things. 

A journey from being nice to being kind begins... 

Kindess is active. Kindness notices the situations that could affect others and makes active attempts to help in any way they can to manage a crisis. Kindness stops and rescues the animal injured or scared on the side of the road. Kindness perceives injustice and even if the injustice isn't directed to him/her personally, it is personal to them because of an inbuilt sense of right and wrong. What hurts another, also hurts me. When another living being is suffering unnecessarily, I say, "What must I do here and now to help in the way I can to ease this suffering." 

Kindness stands on the front lines so that people who are weaker won't have too. Kindness gives strength and rejuvenates society by being unafraid of changing what is broken. 

Kindness is willing to martyr itself for the sake of the future people who may not have to go through what they have. Kindness is forward thinking, present acting, and gives no tip of the hat to the past systems if they were not functioning in a beneficial way for others. Kindness faces the huge academic paradigms and says, "I think this system is not of benefit. I think it is cruel to experiment on animals and it is a senseless thing to do when there are other ways that will not bring suffering upon an innocent living thing." Kindness gets ridiculed, smeared, mocked, and sometimes is killed so that the old ways may be preserved and the "nice" people will continue to keep their head down and press on not making waves or drawing attention to the rot going on at the expense of others. 

Kindness is moral courage. 

Being Nice is moral cowardice. 

Know the difference. 

A nice person is not your friend if you are the type that might go against the grain and speak out about something. They will ghost you pretty quick when you become the louder voice saying what everyone knows but is afraid to say. Nice people do not have the drive to tell you why they ghosted you, they will simply disappear and if you see them or run into them in the future, they will be very "nice" and ask all the surface level things that imitate the emotion of caring. They don't care.  I promise you they are frantically looking around to see if anyone else that is more of a dominate person in their life happened to see them speaking to you. They worry about appearances more than substance, every. single. time. 

Nice people are not adding to the tapestry of our world's bigger picture. They have their own thread but it's not forming the beautiful image of that tapestry. It is happy to be weaving in and out near the edges and where it is of no consequence to the bigger scene. This is not humility by the way. This is timidity of spirit, fear as a rudder that navigates their decisions, and cowardly non-action as the destination. 

If you have a list of New Year Resolutions, add to that list the cultivation of active Kindness and eliminate passive niceness in at least one situation that is brought to your awareness and gives you pause. This will change your life. 

You will no longer be a prisoner to your resentments, you will walk with your head held higher, and you will inspire people to also act with courage when they are faced with a situation that they could actually do something about. 

If you keep being dragged into situations where you are supposed to see something you have willfully ignored out of being "nice" as defined in this post, maybe this time test yourself and see what you are made of. Maybe you have more power because you have observed for so long and now are ready to speak up and take action.  Maybe it would speak volumes if the "spineless nice person' found this situation so important that they made themselves uncomfortable and faced their fears just to be a voice of truth. Maybe you can be a hero in someone's story just by doing that one simple thing.